I think the title sums up what this whole thing has been about. It is kinda weird, cos I keep thinking that I must have always wanted control over my life (who doesn’t!) but I never felt any worry about not having it before all this…

I seem to be getting better at taking it, in both good for me and bad for me ways! But hey, I suppose the two balance each other out?! I know that all I can do is keep on going and figuring things out along the way.. bad, good, strange stuff, anything!

My biggest hope is that what I want and what I believe will make me feel better comes around soon. Then it will all be worth it. Everything in my body is internally crossing in the hope of that…… 🙂

Whatever is going in, I am still very lucky to have people who support me, listen to me, advise me and love me. One of my biggest wishes is that the really important ones of those don’t disappear; those friendships are ones I want to have for years to come. 

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