Can you ever win?

Lately, nothing I do is enough. I mean it has always been this way, but the feeling getting is stronger, i’m sure of it. I keep telling myself that when I move house I will take a little time to get into the swing of a new life and then go to a doctor. The goal of when I am “allowed” to go keeps moving tho. What on earth am I supposed to do? 

Right now I am too tired and feeling too emotional about all the goodbyes to do anything, yet I can’t let myself sit down yet.. I hate it when this happens.

One day I would love to be free of the obsession and the lack of freedom my control of food gives me, but I never want to be out of control of my body. I have stay on top of everything and be thin: simple.

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