Making food choices

The food plan for the next day is ALWAYS affected by how happy I am with my calories the day before. Today, I am wishing I had eaten less, and so my plans for tomorrow are to be especially restrictive.

Part of me is bored of planning food, thinking about food, stressing about food, but a bit of me loves the obsessions. Planning to a point of perfect organisation makes me feel safe.. odd huh?

Even though I search the internet constantly to find out everything about food and the body, I know that the less you put in, the less fat you gain (in simple terms atleast), so why is it that I’m really feeling like protein only is the way to go? I guess I am someone who can’t do anything half-hearted: either I am fully doing something, or I don’t do it all! Food aside, that’s quite a useful thing!

2 thoughts on “Making food choices

  1. I feel like I could have written this myself. I was thinking just last night what foods I feel safe with, and it really just boils down to protein right now. I can’t even find myself to make veggies or anything, even though I know I should for the nutrients.

    And yes, what I have the day before constitutes what I can or can’t have the next day. Usually this gets me stuck in a restrict/binge cycle, and yet I keep doing it.

    Planning food also makes me feel very safe, but right now, I’m trying not to plan my food at all. I find that planning it puts a lot of pressure on me, counting calories, dictating when I can eat, what I can eat. So right now I’m trying to “let go” of that aspect of my ED and eat when I am hungry. I figure if I stick to my safe foods, I won’t go over a certain calorie allotment anyway, so yeah.

    • I always find that my ed tells me “I’m different” and “It isn’t like that for me” so it is nice to hear that somebody else feels the same way I do! I really hope that not planning food goes well for you- I hope that one day I will be brave enough to try that again… the last time I did, I starved all day, binged at night, then purged or over exercised EVERYDAY FOR MONTHS. Eating disorders seem to all merge together sometimes, whichever label you give yourself!

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