Being angry and anxious

I would usually say that I’m not an angry person- at least not at others. I basically never get cross at people, or shout, or show anything at all when I am furious on the inside. I think that all my anger ends up being aimed at myself… like today.

Somebody said a couple of things that just drove me mental this afternoon. They were needless comments, both of which linked to my ed/ self esteem and made me feel like crap. As a result I sat alone in my room and panicked.

It is times like these when I just hate the world. I want to be locked in a room until everything is gone & I end up harming myself or throwing my stuff around. Even though what was said wasn’t actually my doing, I took it out on myself by throwing my phone (which somehow didn’t break!)

At the moment I am just annoyed that I can identify the thoughts that are my illness, but seem unable to do anything about them! I feel as though I am destined to be stuck in a life where I’m regularly totally unstable and hating everything. 

All I can do is to attempt to be calm and together as every new challenge arises.

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