Cravings.

I don’t know why in particular today, but I wish I was able to eat bread and ham, salty chips, pizza and pastries. I guess I’m tired, and calorie deprived… but still, the cravings have been pretty overwhelming today.

Part of me feels strong at denying them, but I also just want to cry.

“I’m hungry, I’m not thin enough to allow myself extra food, my body will always be horrible, my body shape is stupid, I should die if my body won’t become how I want it, I’m tired, I’m tearful, my head hurts my ears ache, I must do exercises, food, stress, meal planning, restriction, weight….” That is my head today.

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2 thoughts on “Cravings.

  1. I remember that. It’s miserable. I wish I could give you a hug and just stay wrapped up in a hug for a long time so the stupid ED couldn’t hurt you anymore. I hope you do have good friends in real life that might be a comfort right now. Truly, though, I remember that feeling. Hope it passes soon.

    • Thank you 🙂 I am fortunate to have a group of incredible friends, but right now, we are all studying in different parts of the country! I have new friends here, but they won’t ever be the same as those who truly know me and my problems inside out! x

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