When I started this blog I was struggling to accept that I was a recovering anorexic who had started bingeing. Perhaps it is quite fitting then that tonight I have “binged” (or eaten what is considered a normal amount)
I feel pretty crap about it. Sitting here wondering whether I will be able to regain control tomorrow is playing on my mind. Since around August I have been losing, so I know a short period of time like this can’t effect what I look like…. but I think that it has.
All I want is to be back in control and eat my usual amount tomorrow. Part of me thinks that is totally realistic and fine; another bit of me is remembering where I was a year ago and is terrified of the binge, starve, binge cycle.
Promises to myself for tomorrow:
1. To do some toning exercises
2. Designate eating times and stick to them
3. Know that finally having time by myself doesn’t mean I need to eat. The desire to do so is just a reaction to feeling overwhelmed with living with 5 people.