Doubting my disorder.. again.

As usual, I am pondering whether I even have an eating disorder. I just feel like I need to vent and reassure myself that I’m not just making a fuss about everything…

I perceive myself as disgusting and often feel like I just take up more room than everyone

I have a fear of weight gain. I always say I would rather die than be average or fat.

Every time I feel a strong emotion, my first thought is to control food, make food plans,(or occasionally to binge and obsessively exercise.)

I’m sleep either very lightly or I sleep constantly, often reaching a point of falling asleep as soon as I sit down when I get home.

I’m have an obsessive knowledge of nutritional content & love to talk about and cook it.

I have lost my periods due to my weight and lack of nutrition, and now they are random and light as I’m losing weight again.

I see everything as black and white.

I have panic attacks in the supermarket sometimes and avoid people seeing me buying or eating food.

Yeah.. I think that is a real problem. Cheers to the person who told me I was attention seeking earlier.

2 thoughts on “Doubting my disorder.. again.

  1. I’m not new to being called an attention seeker. It does indeed sound like you would qualify for an eating disorder. Don’t doubt your have a problem (even though I know it’s so easy to fall into that trap; I’m STILL in that trap every once in a while). I think deep down you know it’s more than just a phase.

    • Yeh, I do know deep down that just under 4 years would be a pretty long “phase”. I guess it is just the disorder trying to protect itself. Everyone doubts they have a problem sometimes! X

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