“Do yourself a favour..”

Doing myself favours isn’t something that happens often. I just always feel compelled to be getting ahead of myself, creating a safety net for the future. If I do that work now, I will relax later… Or not. That just means I work now, and find something else I need to do later!
I have a hectic week. Hours of physically demanding assessments has left me feeling drained. My muscles are screaming more than usual, but I still can’t do myself a favour and chill out! My body clearly needs food to help it repair, but the voice in my head won’t allow for that. My eating disorder doesn’t do kind- just criticism, punishment and guilt.
I don’t understand how to enjoy relaxing.