Making time

I always feel as though my to do list is never ending. There are some things that just get put off over and over again. My eating disorder wants everything to be under control, and so, naturally, instead of doing what I have to do, it tells me to make time to plan food and exercise instead.
The voice in my head dreams of having me all to itself- I could live in a room shut away from the world and have infinite time to indulge in obsessive behaviours and thoughts.
It frustrates me that this burning desire is so strong when I know that it is the disorder talking.