Musings…

I’ve recently watched a short clip about the role of genetics and cognitions in eating disorders. It’s fascinated me, as I’ve always had very black or white, inflexible thought processes, so the idea that isn’t normal is strange.
It’s made me have a few questions for anyone with an eating disorder. Please comment your answers if you have time:
1. Before your disorder, were you a conscientious, high achieving child?
2. Would you say you are good at remembering details?
3. Do you get absorbed on a task, feeling unable to leave any errors?
4. Do you like being alone?/ prefer small groups to social occasions?
5. Is organisation important to you?
6. Does being hungry feel rewarding?
7. Is one mistake more important than the overall bigger picture?
8. Do you get absorbed by programmes or articles about eating disorders and mental illness?

Can’t think of a title to summarise this eclectic post….

I haven’t posted in a while. I’ve almost been too stressed and confused and busy to articulate anything!
Recently I have found myself in quite a few awkward situations. I don’t deal well with being uncomfortable: I get away, or I simply become speechless.
As an obsessive individual, I am perpetually doing small things to tidy up and/or to ease the stress induced by mess. But of course most of the people I know don’t think, or behave like me, and so sometimes it’s like others take advantage (not always knowingly) of my compulsions.
Another thing I can’t handle is conflict. I hate being wrong, but I hate hurting people’s feelings more. Everything ends up creating inner guilt.
Anyway, enough of that crap…
The recent heatwave in England has helped me be less depressed, as I’ve got out the house more and spent time with friends. I’m so grateful for the people I have in my life, but I feel sadness that I’m such a complicated individual to be friends with!
Life can really suck, but I get to do something I love everyday, and have got awesome people with whom I share those experiences.
Wow… A positive post…. That’s a rarity!