“Normal….”

When you struggle with any mental disorder, the wish to just feel normal regularly crosses your mind. I have a few people in my life that I look up to for being healthy, balanced, calm and successful role models.
I can see how abnormal my life is now and I can envisage this perfect recovered life, but I know that neither are sustainable. Being disordered will cut my life short, and being “perfectly” recovered is impossible. What I want is to have a normal, sometimes crappy, sometimes brilliant life… To be like the people I look up to who can experience life as it happens, and handle the more negative emotions in a healthy manner.
I suppose that “normal” is different for everybody and I’m going to have to learn what it means for me. And that’s why I’m scared- because I can’t possibly know what life will be like without any of my problems, as they feel like both a life sentence and my biggest comfort all at once.
We will see…
Happy weekend xx 🙂

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