Last night I dreamt that I was being forced to eat 3000 calories a day. I was constantly changing location, but there was always a few constant people that stayed with me. One of them was a mean, middle aged woman, who dictated what I ate and when. If I refused or didn’t finish the plate I had to start over.
In the dream I was loathing the experiencing but was tearful because it was such a relief to be told I was too skinny and have the permission to eat. I was finally “sick enough”.
To non-disordered people, wanting to be sick seems so wrong, but for me I know it is just a cry for help. I want people to see the pain I have inside on the outside.
My dream really shook me up, and I’m not sure why because I often have dreams involving food.
Anyway, ramblings over.
Xxx
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anadancer 
I have dreams like this all the time (except I eat over 3000 calories a day, thanks to my bloody fast metabolism ugh HATE IT), I’m sorry it shook you up so much. If you try to have 3 regular meals a day (I know that’s easier said than done) and keep a pattern, food thoughts should die down as you get unto a healthier, more natural diet. Please keep trying to eat, I know the ‘not sick enough’ feeling but sometimes we just have to against our disorder and accept that even if we were the sickest of sick we still wouldn’t see it. I’m always here to talk to, my email is at the bottom of some of my posts. I wish you the very best in your recovery, keep fighting.
Thank you so much. I really needed to hear that! Im working in therapy to develop better patterns so perhaps thats why my worries came out in a dream! Happy monday xx