I know being on a diet can make you obsess over food, or develop lethargy from under eating, but the person in my life who diets think that they understand everything about eating disorders.
Knowing about calories doesn’t mean you know how it feels to eat when you have an eating disorder.
Your taste buds are soaring as the piece of food hits your tongue. Everything tastes different after restriction in my eating disorder. My body craves food in a way that makes it feel like a drug.
But the moment of flavour and enjoyment passes. It’s like you can feel the weight and fat crawling all over you. It’s too much. You can’t think about anything but making it all ok. You have to do something. Thoughts race.
Purge. Exercise. Restrict more. Anything. Now.
It’s the adrenaline that fear brings which makes you almost lose touch with reality. Soon, everyday is about this avoidance of food, the moment of eating and then immediate regret.
That’s not like a diet.