Today I learned that the letter G is a hard one to find a post for.. I’ve chosen to talk about growth because my disorders have moulded to stay with me as I’ve gotten older.
The 8 year old girl who thought she weighed too much became a 14 year old who cut out lunch. The critical voice got stronger and stronger, until the 14 year old became a 17 year old who went from anorexic to bulimic.
Now I’m 21 and accustomed to living with housemates not my family. I am “grown up” (in the legal sense… My enjoyment of stuffed animals suggests otherwise…)
In many ways, suffering makes you grow up because you have to understand your mind in a way other people do not; however I’ve missed out in other ways. I find it hard to cope healthily, meaning I end up needing other people more than Id like to admit.
G is also for Gain. These are the things I would gain from being recovered:
-less anxiety when eating socially
-better hair and skin
-more physical strength and health
-ability to enjoy treat foods
-not feeling guilt because others worry about me