O is for Obvious

One of my biggest difficulties is expressing how I feel. I often find that my inner tension, anxiety, anger or sadness is so intense that I think it is obvious to those on the outside. 

It just isn’t that way. 

Someone once said to me “nobody is looking. Nobody can really see you’re hyperventilating, or having chest pain, or seeing horrible images in your mind.” And they were so right.. If I’m having a panic attack, what’s visible on the outside is a drop in the ocean of what I’m actually experiencing. 

Panic attacks are just an example. Feeling suicidal isn’t obvious either… Nor are feelings of fatness or self hatred. People might recognise discomfort in you, but never really see what you feel unless you say it. If I could go back and warn myself of this fact then maybe I wouldn’t have felt so much worry over people “not caring.”

/Beauty has 26 faces (interesting article!)

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