I have always been active. As a child I did a lot of sports, which faded out as I got progressively more serious about dancing and musical theatre. Despite never being lazy, my eating disorder has always relied on me doing extra exercise to have done enough.
A couple of days ago I walked to the local pool, having planned to swim at least 20 lengths. It was closed and I was so angry. It was the first moment I’ve ever realised that I couldn’t cope with not exercising. I suppose this hasn’t occurred before because I’ve always had x class later that day, or had already cycled to x place or whatever. Well…. It sucked. All I could think about was what I needed to do so that I hadn’t been lazy.
Fuck you ed.