Lots of stuff jumbled together. 

So this week has been…. Well, what hasn’t it been?! I had a really great time performing a project on Thursday, a nice catch up with a friend over the phone, yet also became extremely suicidal this week. The way my mood changes is so intense (apparently ed’s can cause this) that I end up fed up and angry at having to deal with it all. 

In therapy we talked about how close I was to ending it, how it can feel lonely, and how ultimately it isn’t my fault. After being told the exact opposite by the first professional I saw several years ago, this was so powerful. In that moment I felt so cared for, and like the guilt and shame was taken from me for a while. 

Eating disorders and ocd aren’t you. They make you do things that you don’t want to do. 

You don’t choose to suffer. 

You aren’t alone. 

There is hope. I’m here to help you find it. 

It’s ok to feel sad, angry, whatever you feel is ok. 

I needed that session so badly. Words really can change everything. 

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