Evening analysis and also some rants about college. 

So a few hours ago when my housemate had a guest over I felt unwanted. I felt like I was in the way and so I removed myself and was lonely. I didn’t know if it would be ok to join them, but I wanted to, and so I asked. 

Perhaps it wasn’t ok that I interrupted, but we had fun so I don’t think it mattered (?!) we did nothing special. Just chatted and listened to stuff, but it was so nice. It just showed me that sometimes you have to try and change things. Nobody else could have changed that today, and usually I’d just want to keep away and avoid any potential negativity. I’m glad I didn’t. 

On a totally different note I feel kinda worried. I think other people did better than me for quite a few things (based on a Facebook group we have and comments etc) and I just feel like I’ve worked so hard and nobody sees it. It’s only a few days until term starts which is why this has come up. 

I probably have no talent at all and I’m not going to leave with the distinction I’m desperate to achieve. I bet I’m the weak link of my group and I just hate that feeling of not being good enough. What if my self doubt is just me acknowledging the reality?

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