I really struggle to not show my jealousy when it comes to my ED. even though I like that I am high functioning and continue doing things, a friend going to inpatient or getting physically ill because of their ed causes me so much distress.
Finally I think I know why. Maybe I’m more fired up about this more than my other disorders because it’s my eating that has bought both more pain and more comfort than anything else.
Being jealous over an illness makes me feel very guilty, though, because I’d never feel this way over the flu or an operation (or anything non ed based) and I do except that the thoughts are proof of my sickness in themselves, as no non sufferer would probably want to suffer.
That’s a mind game.