I’ve been wanting to post for several days now, but the energy and time hasn’t been there!
This week has been eventful to say the least. A college production has been problematic (won’t go into details, but trust me there was drama!) And I’ve also been thinking a lot about my thoughts on recovery. For the 4th time in my life, I’m in the position of being referred to the ED service. The last time I went I was adamant I wanted to get better, and even then I didn’t get well. Right now I’m on the fence about change; I want to be without the obsessional thoughts and body worries, but I don’t want to lose control. I’m not ready to give that up- and I know I would need a lot of support to do so, perhaps a level of support I’m not able to get.
Yesterday I had a day for myself. I bought new shoes, got the housework done, napped, caught up on some tv/YouTube, and spoke to a friend. Being alone is actually quite important to me. I think my introverted needed requires me to have some time without other people, because it feels recharging for me. It’s rare I get days like yesterday and so I was so happy all day!
That happiness comes with the crash though. Today feels bleak and sort of dreary. My Mum said that I feel things more than the average joe on the street, so it’s normal to feel tired from the extremes in emotion.
That’s it for now. Do you guys like alone time? Xx