I feel like the amount of things triggering my ED has skyrocketed lately. I mean I’m pretty sensitive as it is, but at the moment so many things are getting me.
My own reflection is usually a source of daily confusion, but today was a nightmare. One class, I was wearing a sports bra and shorts just like lots of others, and be it the angle or the lighting or who knows what, I could see the definition in my abs. 30 minutes later and my stomach looked enormous. Then comes the rumination over what other people could have seen when they looked at me and what they were thinking… FML.
I’m also feeling really competitive at the moment. My brain is constantly telling me I don’t have a problem, and that’s making it hard to stick to my meal plan when I feel so fat and unworthy of even having an eating disorder.