I had a totally different post in mind, but my ED came in to ruin my day so now I’m writing about that instead!
Up until around 2pm, things were ok. Nothing out of the ordinary. I decided to walk into the centre and get a snack, which was a terrible idea. I walked around for about 2 hours going into various places. I bought several items, most of which I took a couple of bites from and threw them in the bin. They weren’t perfect enough for me to use my calories on. I ended up doing the super classy thing of eating the allotted 3 bites of brownie in the supermarket loo, so I could eat in secret and discard the bit I wasn’t allowed.
I arrived home exhausted from the afternoon of being on my feet and the mental challenge of decision making, so I fell asleep. (side note: was trying to NOT GO TO SLEEP in the day today) Ffs.
To top it off, I’ve just eaten chips. What a fucking idiot. Since when do I let myself eat more than my safe calories?! I’m fine just restricting, I swear I will kill myself if I end up binging all the time like I did back in the day. Yes, I know I’ve eaten more like a “normal” amount now, and that isnt a binge, but this is how that started before so I don’t trust it.