The pre-appointment nerves. 

I get varying levels of anxiety, from barely noticeable, to very worried, about appointments. 

Tonight my mind is whirling around and overthinking everything. Have I done well at goals? Do I even want to be good at those goals? Should I have got sicker since she last saw me? Have I got sicker? 

And truth be told, my answers to all of those questions (plus the other billion in my head) is a resounding I’m not sure. My tendency to overthink makes it feel quite overwhelming and confusing when the thoughts flood in like this. 

What I do know is that I want to be more muscular than I am now, because this will benefit my dancing *going to post about life as a dance graduate soon*, BUT am I allowed to get bigger when I don’t feel I’m small enough yet to let go? 

Shut up brain. 

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