The worst thing is waiting. 

I admit it, this is hard.

I graduated from a professional performing arts college in mid- July. I’m now attending auditions, trying to keep up my skills and working towards getting that golden first job. The worst thing is that you can’t control when that time is going to come, because sometimes you get cut in the first round because of how you look, or because of some reason that doesn’t relate to ability that you’ll never be told about. I could be too short for one thing, too tall for another- it’s luck of the draw (and sometimes there aren’t any clear guidelines so you have to turn up and find out if it’s for you or not!)

In some ways I like the responsibility of my own fitness and health and life in general, but equally, it’s a heavy load. It isn’t as easy to work on your split leaps as it is to keep up an academic skill leve, I don’t know, like a maths degree or something!

Right now I’m sat in a Starbucks feeling a bit crappy. They made my  frappucino taste like shit and I just received an email from an audition to let me know I didn’t get the part. Although I don’t have huge confidence in my abilities, I do have huge passion. I know I really want a performing job; and I also know that patience is not my strong point. Perhaps something better is on the cards, but it’s difficult to feel positive when you have no idea what and when your path will head in a direction you’re aiming for.

I won’t ever get feedback to know why something didn’t go in my favour  (which does make it feel less personal I suppose) but also leaves my mind free to wander! How invested I feel in each potential job varies according to how much warning and preparation there was for it. It’s easier to let it go when it hasn’t been on my mind beforehand for very long. 

Rambling over. 

#performerslifr

6 thoughts on “The worst thing is waiting. 

  1. I can completely relate to what you are saying in this post. You are not alone. Luck will be coming your way soon I am sure. I am following your blog so that I can follow your journey.

  2. Hang in there dancer, keep at it, keep taking classes, chat to teachers and other dancers and write some affirmations for yourself to remind you why you love dance xx everyone I know went thru this limbo bit b4 working but once you get the first job it will come xx

  3. Keep taking class, even if the only ones you can get to are at your old dancing school not ‘pro classes’ go to them, take the corrections and push yourself! Your break will come- you just have to keep pushing. Being a dancer is about sheer determination. I worked pretty constantly for eight years and I never enjoyed the audition process but it’s worth it when you’re back on that stage xx

    • A million thanks for this comment! I’m actually in a much better place about it all today mentally- spent the day submitting for auditions and then went to gym #productive
      Honestly so grateful to hear your thoughts & encouragement xx
      Hope you’re well- I noticed your blogs faded out somewhat and I’ve always hoped you were still on the WordPress site 🙂 hope you’ve had a good day too xx

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