Table for one. 

I know it’s Monday, but today is the first time I feel like I’ve taken in last weeks activities. In 7 days, I somehow managed to work 42 hours, do a 4 hour train journey, do an audition, spend 4 hours doing the return journey, go to the gym a few times, and then go back to London. Who knew there were so many hours available in a week?! Needless to say I’m pretty knackered! You’d think I’d be asleep like a log, but instead I’ve been struggling to fall asleep. 

My anxiety was pretty bad yesterday and that’s worn me out that little bit more. As of right now, I’m at a table for one. I can only do this when I’m in a huge city where nobody will know me. I feel like I’m alone, and for me and my ED that’s just perfect. I like it to be me and the food- like a special bit of the day that’s just ours. Wow. That’s not weird at all… 

I entered the place I’m eating at after being soaked from a sudden rainstorm. The waiter asked me (totally straight faced) if I had escaped the storm. No. Water is dropping off my face, do I look dry?! 

I’m sure he was trying to be funny, but when your clothes are soaked through its hard to see the humour 😂

Tomorrow I’m seeing friends as we are auditioning for something together. It will be lovely to have their company and support,but in the back of my mind I also know I will find it so hard not be disappointed if I was the only one not to get through this round. It’s a tricky one. Well, it hasn’t happened yet! FINGERS CROSSED. 

Think it’s time for a nap and some dry clothes when I get back! Hope everyone is having a good day xoxo

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