Triggers. 

I never used to think I had triggers. I used to just think my illness acted out for no reason, but now I notice triggers everywhere. 

As usual when I’m going to be meeting new people, I’m nervous about arriving at my new workplace and being the biggest of everyone. I’m concerned about the  daytime uniform- what if I look hideous in it!?

Today’s trigger was clothes shopping. I noticed there was a uk size 4 in Primark, which made me feel so big because there’s no way it would fit me. I ended up buying a couple of simple items from a different shop, although I never try things on in the store. 

I feel like I really need validation today. I need to be told I’m thin and that I don’t need to be nervous or scared. Nobody will do that though because I’m not thin anyway. 

#edstruggles

On the upside, I will be flying to my new home in Tenerife really soon!

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