This is the first time in my life I’ve been away from him for Christmas. I love this time of year and I enjoy choosing gifts for my loved ones, playing board games with my family on the big day, and of course receiving things people have chosen for me (to name just a few features I love)
My colleagues and I all had to work today, and the day felt strange. Everybody was thinking about who they’d like to be with today, especially when Father Christmas paid a visit and we watched children and their families enjoying the festivities together. I do feel sad, but my mum is the total best and we are going to have Christmas again when I’m home in June 🎉🎉
Food is always tricky for me at Christmas. My eating disorder thoughts are constant and confusing. Today I didn’t have the usual challenge of an English meal, but I wish I’d had that option. I have some of my own food to supplement the limited and not very nice food provided (it’s free so I don’t mind buying other stuff for myself), however being hungry all the time and not having options I’m used to in england is an ongoing difficulty. My dietitian is encouraging me to aim for regularity before trying to eat a more normal amount. Most days I wake up with good intentions, although not always! Body image worries and how my body feels in terms of size effects how able I feel to challenge myself.
Tomorrow is another opportunity to make good choices & try to enjoy the season 🎄
Merry Christmas everyone xoxo