Eating Disorder Awareness Week. 

Like many with an ED, it is nice to see honest content being shared online during this week. But, instead of posting about how bad my illness is, I’m going to think about how important recovery is instead. 

What could my life look like if I work on recovery? It could be more peaceful, happy, and less overwhelming. My life could be healthier on both a physical and mental level. I could truly be the best dancer I can, and therefore enjoy future contracts with a clearer and more present mind than I currently have. Maybe I could be a mother, wife, girlfriend- whatever I decide I want. My days could feel longer without all the obsessions stealing my time. Recovery is essential if I want to have a life involving other people, because people won’t waste their time waiting for me to get better forever. Recovery would mean freedom from the fears about my body and food, or atleast the ability to manage the fears. There are two options: commit to recovery OR devote myself to the disorder and potentially lose my life to the consequences. Not choosing recovery means risking an increase in my depression and suicidal thoughts. Many people love me so I shouldn’t allow myself to keep getting worse. The thought of my body shouldn’t make me think about killing myself, and if not for myself, i could challenge myself to choose recovery for all the people who love and care about me. 

Why do you think recovery is necessary?

Xoxo

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4 thoughts on “Eating Disorder Awareness Week. 

  1. Thanks for this inspiring and thought provoking post ‘dancer and I fully support and respect your reasons for wanting to recover. For me, I want to recover because a) I will not be able to have a career in dance if I don’t recover – I’m currently having to look at taking a year out of dance to give myself a chance to recover, and b) I genuinely like people and I enjoy feeling like I belong in the human race and anorexia makes me feel like I don’t belong, that I’m subhuman and it makes me see other people as obstacles to my anorexia or competition to my anorexia. It also takes away my sense of humour, my ability to be kind and patient and my capacity for tolerance and enjoying life.

    • From experience, dance jobs are hard when you are consumed with something else. I know I can’t continue this way, and remember that if you take a year out, it’s for healthy reasons!
      You’re right that it’s hard to be as nice a person as you can be when you’re experiencing a lot of thoughts and symptoms.
      Everyone deserves enjoyment xx

      • thanks ‘dancer x it can be hard to have perspective when you’re in something but its good to be able to talk and its good to be understood. x we all deserve the freedom to live the way we want to – to have our careers (which are bloody hard enough anyway right?!) so I’m glad you’re kicking against the ed too xx thanks again for your post, it really made me think x Em

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