After the initial positive overwhelm of arriving back in England, I seem to have this sadness and apathy come over me at some point everyday. I just don’t feel good. I’m not sure there’s one particular reason, although there are a few things causing some anxiety for me right now. My mind and body seem to change in mood very quickly, and once the low feelings come, it’s hard to shake.
There have been some really lovely parts of the last few days- seeing my brother, going out with my Mum, making plans to see friends etc etc, however today just felt bleurgh. Bored of getting these feelings everyday, I bought myself a face mask, did some art, cuddled my cats and dogs, and watched some favourite YouTubers of mine. I don’t feel on top of the world, but at least I did something pleasureable (even if I would have enjoyed this time more on a different day).
Depression days can be tiring and annoying, especially when I can’t find the reason why. I always want to analyse and understand everything, and sometimes it just doesn’t work like that.
If any of you are a bit down in the dumps, accept a virtual hug from me! 🙂
Sleep tight xoxo
Hoping it passes soon x
xx thanks for the virtual hug dancer 🙂 good on you for taking the time to do the pleasurable things for yourself, keep taking gentle care of yourself. I always used to go through a low after finishing work on a gig – my dancer friends and I used to call it ‘post-show depression’ – I don’t know if that’s an actual thing but it is definitely something I encountered a lot. It’s understandable when you think of how involved you are in a dance show – you’re with other people, you’re practicing your art and profession, even though it has its challenges it is rewarding too and then suddenly not having those things and even those pressures can feel very deflating… If you can get to professional class (or even any sort of dance/yoga/movement class) that might help? just for the buzz of being around others and getting a sweat on x remind yourself of who you are even if you’re between gigs at the moment x Em
Thanks for the wise words! I’m off to London to see friends at the end of the week and going to go to some classes too. I think you’re right- however difficult some parts are, it feels a bit empty without it all somehow! Thanks again- really appreciate you ☺️🌟