Since returning to England and finding my way in a new city, I’ve had a register at a new doctor in order to get my meds. I’ve now had 2 appointments with the same GP, and she has given me lots of info on mental health help in my area, taken time to ask me questions, and prescribed my medication. However, today she asked to weigh me. I’m so paralysed by this fear that I couldn’t even speak. I was trying to but sentences weren’t actually coming out of my mouth. She let me tell her why I can’t, and she didn’t force it on me, but it really brought up some pretty crappy memories to be honest.
I leave for my new contract in 9 days, and the GP asked me today if I thought I am well enough to go. Obviously I said yes, because what’s the point in giving up an opportunity and sitting about at home? As my departure gets nearer I’m finding silly little nerves popping up, so to settle my mind I’m gonna make a little list:
Positives about the new job:
- Chance to see a lovely place
- I will be dancing 4 nights a week
- Having my own space, and being out of my parents way!
- Earning a decent wage
- Fewer daytime hours than previously
- Near the beach!
- Being near some of my friends from before (hopefully!)
Nerves/negatives about the new job:
- Worry of people not liking me
- Worry of the choreography being too hard/easy for me
- Worry that the uniform will make me look fat (yes. That has been a real thought in my head.)
- Being away from home, and the natural moments of missing my favourite people from time to time
These are probably my main pros and cons, and let’s face it the positives list is a much better read 😂 I just need to focus on all the excitement things that could happen instead of worrying it will all go wrong #anxietystruggs
Xoxo
anadancer 
Hey dancer 🙂 sorry to hear about the pressure and stress with the gp – I’d feel the same if I was in that position, I hope you’ve been able to be kind to yourself in dealing with those distressing memories that it brought up. I love your list making approach, I find lists SOOO helpful! cross out that top worry though coz people are totally going to like you though because you are awesome 😉 I had to delete my old site 😦 boo ! but I have a new one now if you feel like giving it a follow x Em
Lists are great! I coincidentally had therapy yesterday evening so I ranted about it for a while! I will totally follow- thanks for telling me. Was wondering where you’d gone xxx