Guess who wrote a post and it got deleted? THAT’S ME 😭
Anywayyyy, I’m here in the sunshine and I’ve unpacked and done all the boring things. All we did today was rehearse, as the hotel is yet to open and we are preparing. Even though that was my day, I feel over emotional and anxious to be frank. There are a few things that are still worrying me:
- Meeting my new housemate on Saturday
- Getting into the “normal” schedule and wondering how I will like it
- How I’m going to manage my money until my first pay
Obviously these unknowns could all be fine, but the possibility that they could not be is enough to cause racing thoughts.
I was with 2 people today- both seemed nice and fairly easy going. I am finding myself being really judgemental of them (in my head obviously!) and I’m not sure why. I’m guilty for thinking this but: in my eyes they are too fat to be dancers. Both are me, with muscular arms and legs, but with larger stomachs. I shouldn’t be judging them, especially when I don’t think I look like a dancer!! Not being racist, but I’ve noticed several men with bodies like these and I wonder if there’s a genetic tendency for that shape (?). Although otherwise pleasant, I did feel patrionised when asked if I a new song that’s the most well known fucking theatre song ever (I wanted to scream from the roof tops and say I am professionally trained and not some moron off the street and FYI I probs know more musical theatre stuff than you) rant over. Sozzzz.
I hope I feel more settled soon. I have a nice balcony where I plan to sit alone and get away from things when I fancy it (sat there right now actually…)
Hope you’re all well. Comment below the best bit of your day…
Mine: finding and using a super clean gym that’s close to me and enjoying being able to focus on my body
anadancer 
Glad you’ve made it safe and sound! Such a fun adventure. I’m excited to hear how it goes.
My world was all work, stressed out family, coworkers and sleep. Lol. Fun fun fun.
Sleep deffo sounds like the best bit of that! Hope today was better
wow you’re in Mallorca already! sending you good vibes 🙂 I hope it goes well with your new housemates when they get there and that you can enjoy the peace and quiet in the meanwhile. It sounds like you’re finding it all a bit stressful at the moment – lots of deep breaths and self-care. In my experience how fat or thin someone is has no bearing on how skilled and talented they are as a dancer, that might be a standard coming from the ed side of your head? you know how it loves to focus on all that but its really not so important x mind yourself xx Em
Yeah, I did try and work out whether I was being realistic or having a harsh ed standard. Sometimes hard to tell! I’m trying to enjoy the good bits and look forward to having a new routine in place soon! Xxx
oh wait!!! the best bit of my day today was making a mandala in Art Therapy Group 🙂 it is now the new screen saver on my phone !
The group sounds really cool! My little picture for my avatar on WordPress is a lion I coloured from a book. Go art activities! 💪🏻💪🏻
oh yes! I had a look at that lion when you changed it – its gorgeous 🙂 I loooooove art and colouring and doodling are really great relaxers for me, I don’t do enough though having said that… I love looking at art and crafty things on pinterest though 🙂
I’ve recently discovered how great pintrest is! I’m the same with craft stuff in that I should do more! Lions are my favourite wild animals so I chose that one as the first one on the book to do. Currently working on a horse one! Art therapy isn’t something I had available to me where I was in the UK, I think they should use it
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Your balcony sounds like a lovely little haven, it’s so important to find a little safe spot for decompressing!