Hey everyone! I’ve spent this week battling with a horrid flu virus, and finally have the energy to write again. Sadly I had to work and perform while sick, and so it’s taken about 10 days for me to feel like on the mend a bit.
Chit chat aside, something that’s on my mind at the moment is the feeling of anger. For me, it’s on I find uncomfortable, but I often find that my ED can make me angry. The anger of not feeling good enough/sick enough/in control/like I’ve failed at making my body small etc can be very strong and debilitating.
The thing with anger is that it actively stops me in my tracks. When I get that angry feeling, I want to scream and run away, but I can’t. It’s like being angry at my own mind and being trapped in it. I’m not sure if this experience is common, but it wouldn’t surprise me if it was. Perhaps expressing anger through ED feelings is easier for me than to know why I’m really angry deep down.
What feeling do you feel from your mental illness?
Xoxo happy weekend!