Day 20. Criticism from others. 

I’m so glad I had today off. The lie in I had was very much needed! Anyone else feel like their bed is one of the best places ever? 😂 

Today I encountered some unexpected feedback from somebody and I’ve been fighting feeling negative about myself over it. For context, my second language is Spanish. I’m NOT perfect, but my whole professional life here is in Spanish, and I’m the only one for whom it isn’t my native language. My knowledge of Spanish is actually a skill that I’m quite proud of (one of few things I think I do quite well). So when I trotted in to see if a parcel had arrived and a cleaner took the mick of how I’d said something, I was offended. It made me think I’m not good enough, that the mistake was silly because I normally wouldn’t make a basic error. It made me think that I’m not fluent because I stumbled over my words today. Does her opinion matter? No. Can she speak two languages? No. Can I? Yes. Does getting tongue tied mean anything about me? Not really, but it feels like it. 

Proof I really do know Spanish:

  • Sometimes I have dreams in Spanish 
  • I often don’t really think before I speak. It comes out, just as I would in English 
  • People have told me more than 10 times since I arrived here that I speak really well, that they thought I was Spanish etc etc

These little things are times I’m realising how much of a perfectionist I am. Most people wouldn’t care over something so trivial, but my brain hates that I didn’t do it perfectly. 

Time for #5adayprogress:

1. Sent emails 

2. Spoke to my Auntie and one of my best friends 

3. Cleaned the sink

4. Booked my transfer to go and see my family soon ⭐️

5. Had a bath 

Tomorrow I want to:

  • Do my laundry
  • Plan my workout for Monday 
  • Video call my Mum 

Xoxo 

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