Right now I’m sat here with only one week of my contract left. It’s strange to think that after 6 months performing my shows and being in the routine of which day duties are which days, that I’m only doing everything ONE MORE TIME.
Part of me is hugely excited to be back in the UK. I can’t wait to see all my favourite people, cuddle my pets, and relax a little bit. However, being a performer means uncertainty is unavoidable. While I have auditions and plans coming up, I don’t know when or where my next job will be. Fortunately I can earn some money at home through an old part time job I can get back into, so finances aren’t a concern, but mental health wise, change and the unknown is hard. Emotionally is where the fear lies.
I want to take a second to be grateful for what I’ve had, before I get panicky over the future that I can’t control. Anxiety makes being present a challenge at times. I’m often overthinking past events, or overanalysing all the possibilities for the future. Worry doesn’t solve anything, but that doesn’t make it go away. Anyone else a major over thinker?
Right now my focus is on the nice things that await me at home, and the goal to fully embrace the last 5 shows.
Happy weekend xoxo