Just 4 days left on the island of Mallorca. 4 more shows, 4 more mornings of playing with the children at the resort, 4 more nights in the flat.
I’m so excited to go home, but doing each show for the last time feels really strange. The thing that’s causing me worry right now, is being heightened by people constantly asking me what I will do when I finish.
It isn’t that simple when you perform for a living. I could go to 20 auditions and not get a job, or I could go to an audition and be offered something pretty soon. Some time off is definitely going to be enjoyable, and first and foremost I need to rest a damaged foot, get some sleep, and spend time with my loved ones.
As I left work this evening, the choreographer asked me if I think I will return here next year. It feels like pressure and I can’t think that far ahead! It’s good to know I have done a good job and would be offered a future contract, but I want to see what the coming months hold before making a decision. Maybe I will be doing new shows in a place, and potentially be getting new, valuable experiences to add to my career. But, I have to take a risk, see if an opportunity arises, and decide about Mallorca in the new year.
Being a performer who has anxiety can be tough in terms of having an unstable job. Uncertainty can sometimes cause me to spiral into a little ball of stress 😂
On a nice happy note, I enjoyed my last 70/80s show tonight 💃🏻
anadancer 
Endings are always hard but especially for performers, or at least I imagine based on my scant experience in musical comedy theater when I was young. There was a let down when the show ended but the difference is that was a performing arts experience for kids and teens therefore no pay, etc. I cannot even conceive of that level of anxiety. I could barely make it through auditions and would inevitably be cast as a dancer, as always. One time I screwed up so bad (from nerves) that they thought it was intentional and put me in a comedic bit part. 😛 I do hope the transition home goes smoothly!
Thanks for your comment 🙂 I arrived home yesterday, so still trying to adjust! I think the thoughts of “what next” won’t hit me fully for a couple of weeks. At first, I just feel I’m on holiday and relaxing after being busy and away from home. Hopefully, whatever is next will come along when the time and the job is right x
Ps. I love your story about getting cast as the comedy role 😂 you were obviously very convincing!
It was an embarrassing amount of years ago but it still makes me laugh. ☺️