Rock and a hard place.

Sometimes you just feel stuck, don’t you? My contract has finished and I’m back in UK. It’s so lovely to be with the people I love, and I know that time to relax is essential. However, the last few days my mood has crashed big time. Totally no motivation, headaches, sleepless nights but napping in the day, horrible mental images… the lot.

Although I have hopes for my career and want to achieve more things, I almost feel unable to progress right now. I’m desperate for life to pause so I can work out what the fuck I’m feeling and what to do. Part of me feels desperately struggling; the other part feels like my anorexia is a joke and there’s no way I actually need a break to sort it out.

Everybody thinks I can cope with whatever I’m thrown into, because I have got through my last contract even with my problems. I’m just afraid.

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