Eating Disorders don’t make sense.

I want to be thinner, but I rarely wear clothing that’s fitted, so where’s the sense in that? I want to eat “bad” foods when I’m thin enough, but weight loss only makes me want to hold onto control, to not let go of what I’ve achieved. I want to be successful, and I’m scared I’d fail if I lost my disorder, but it makes me less productive and less likely to succeed in the first place. I want to be “good enough” at anorexia but I often what my problems to be secret. I want my eating disorder, but I also want to just be myself.

2 thoughts on “Eating Disorders don’t make sense.

  1. it only makes sense when you realise anorexia is an operating entity that is controlling you aka a demon – until you articulate and identify this controlling entity as something separate from you you can’t really make much progress – bc everything is a contradiction

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