Grief and thought muddles

Grief and eating disorders are great friends. I’m dealing with the extreme emotions of losing a truly beloved pet right now, and my ed is convincing me that it’s a perfect excuse to eat less.

All my sadness and heartache around the loss quickly become sadness and pain over everything: food, my body, perceived failures, negative predictions about the future… it’s one big storm ☔️

I feel lately that my mind is going so quickly that it’s difficult to post or understand my own thoughts. Any tips out there for this?

It’s like some of my thoughts are present inside, but I can’t get them to come to the outside as I don’t hear them enough to digest and express them. My anxious brain is very good at firing on all cylinders all the time 😂

Currently enjoying the “insight timer” free meditation app at night, and I have to say it’s an amazing app for absolutely no money whatsoever. Highly recommend it over headspace etc, as everything is free and there are thousands of different ones to listen to. Speaking of which, it is time to sleep ⭐️

March = me time. #marchisforme

Anyone else struggle to do the best thing for themselves? I know I do. I can say yes too easily, put others first, or allow my negative brain space to convince myself that I don’t deserve to do nice things for myself.

Of course, sometimes I will enjoy an evening of things I find relaxing, but arguably not always at the moments I truly need it. So this month I’m going to commit myself to doing face masks, painting my nails, journaling, reading…. anything that I feel will boost me.

I think my ambitious nature makes me set goals without considering looking after my feelings as a goal; it definitely needs to be.