I want to lose weight, be thinner, see my bones more and more, but I don’t want my disorder to stop my doing things I want to do. Then of course, the worry is I will never be satisfied with my body (either I lose so much more that other things fall out of my life, or I get to a point just before that happens and it is not enough!)
I want to sleep because my body is drained of energy- emotionally and from lack of calories, but I don’t want to feel lazy.
I want to be happy, but do I deserve it when I am not thin enough? Is it even possible to be completely happy in an ed mindset?
I want to be free of my problems, but I also want to never let go.
“I argue back and forth; my eating disorder sits on one side of the table while my logical brain sits on the other. They bicker and fight, all the while I’m sitting in the middle trying to figure out who’s the liar and who is telling the truth.”- recoveringanorexic blog. A perfect analysis…