What makes a house a home?

As I’m not yet old enough or rich enough to have my own home, I have lived in student houses and am now looking at job prospects where you live in shared accommodation, rather than a more “normal” job where you would be living in your own flat/ renting a place. All this has got me thinking about which of my possessions make me feel at home wherever I am.

My fairy lights: the soft glow makes me feel relaxed and I will always picture them in the first place they were ever put in my bedroom!

My iPad: part of my routine when I arrive home at the end of the day is to use my iPad to listen or watch something I enjoy. Having choice over what I watch makes me feel like it’s my space and my time to unwind. 

Teddies: my teddies all have a story about why they are special. I like feeling surround by those happy memories. 

Lavender oil: crazy as it sounds, I’m so attached to different scents. Lavender in particular is one I love. Anyone else ever feel like a smell transports them to somewhere in their mind?

My colouring book: because I’m a big kid who likes making pretty stuff. 

Cosy pyjamas: nothing makes me feel at home more than the ability to wear my comfy pjs the second I’m through the door. Pyjamas are essentially my house clothes. Lol at me. 

Cards and photos: I love getting post, and I have a ribbon with tiny pegs that display my cards and photos. I have put up a selection of these in every room I’ve lived in. 

Bedtime privacy: feeling at home means the wifi connects automatically and I can lay in bed typing a blog, watching a video and/or listening to a podcast. I also love being alone for a short time before bed. This gives me time to be selfish for a bit and do whatever I want. 

What do you like to have around you?


Colouring for Calm

I reckon this blog post is long overdue as my current love for colouring is just getting bigger and bigger… Colouring is what all the cool kids do, and for those who don’t exactly feel cool when buying a colouring book then don’t worry as all savvy-publishers have craftily named their books ‘art therapy’, ‘calming […]


Going home.

I’ve not been to my family home since Christmas. but I’m going back for Easter holidays in  weeks. I am excited, but all of the positivity about it seems to be getting more and more overridden by worry that people back home will think I’m fatter or the same size as I was last time I was there..   :S

I know it is silly to even be thinking about that, but I just can’t stop. That thought is there, I have accepted the way I feel about it but I can’t control that situation and so i’m scared. What if somebody says something?

I think I get so worried because that house and that situation is where my ed started. and so  my family and friends there have seen me at my biggest (normal weight, slim from being active), at my thinnest and the times when I gained quite rapidly from binges. It is horrible knowing that my illness will be in other people’s heads, as whatever they say can be distorted and relayed in my brain as a massive criticism. 

This just makes me feel even more fixated on restricting. I must be thinner. I must make sure nobody thinks I am bigger. 

I wish I could just look forward to it!