New year doesn’t equal a new me.

The phrase New Year, New Me implies that the ring of midnight magically transforms us via some kind of witchcraft. In my view, the equation is more like:

New Year + Self awareness + Hard work = New Me.

It isn’t so catchy, is it? In the past, I have thought about the year gone by/ my hopes for the coming one, but never made firm resolutions. (I do however like to make a mini bucket list for the year, such as shows I want to watch, or a place I’m keen to visit)

This year I want to hold myself more accountable and make goals. Perhaps I’ve been scared of failing at my resolutions, and so held back from making any in past years. I’m open to the idea that what I want could change in the course of the next 12 months, and that’s okay. For now though, here are my first proper resolutions:

  • Pass my driving test
  • Take therapy as it comes, and know that recovery is possible if I decide that’s what I want to fully commit to
  • (Hopefully) become strong at aerial (if I like it after my first session next week!)
  • Utilise the online 12 step meetings for eating disorders. Keep going even if I feel unsure about my own desire right now
  • Do little things for myself more often- paint my nails more, do face masks, watch a favourite film…
  • Do my best. Don’t let the possibility of failing stop me from trying all of these things.

Good wishes for the last day of 2017, and a happy new year when it arrives for you

Xox

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What makes a house a home?

As I’m not yet old enough or rich enough to have my own home, I have lived in student houses and am now looking at job prospects where you live in shared accommodation, rather than a more “normal” job where you would be living in your own flat/ renting a place. All this has got me thinking about which of my possessions make me feel at home wherever I am.

My fairy lights: the soft glow makes me feel relaxed and I will always picture them in the first place they were ever put in my bedroom!

My iPad: part of my routine when I arrive home at the end of the day is to use my iPad to listen or watch something I enjoy. Having choice over what I watch makes me feel like it’s my space and my time to unwind. 

Teddies: my teddies all have a story about why they are special. I like feeling surround by those happy memories. 

Lavender oil: crazy as it sounds, I’m so attached to different scents. Lavender in particular is one I love. Anyone else ever feel like a smell transports them to somewhere in their mind?

My colouring book: because I’m a big kid who likes making pretty stuff. 

Cosy pyjamas: nothing makes me feel at home more than the ability to wear my comfy pjs the second I’m through the door. Pyjamas are essentially my house clothes. Lol at me. 

Cards and photos: I love getting post, and I have a ribbon with tiny pegs that display my cards and photos. I have put up a selection of these in every room I’ve lived in. 

Bedtime privacy: feeling at home means the wifi connects automatically and I can lay in bed typing a blog, watching a video and/or listening to a podcast. I also love being alone for a short time before bed. This gives me time to be selfish for a bit and do whatever I want. 

What do you like to have around you?

Xoxo

Dear body:

I was suggested to write a letter to show my body a tiny drop of love, to start balancing out of the ocean of negativity. Here it is!

Dear body,

Thanks for doing your best to keep going, even when I don’t treat you very well. Thanks for having the capacity to move, be flexible, and learn choreography. Without you I wouldn’t be chasing my dreams. 

What you look like is a very confusing topic for me, and I’m sorry for critiquing you so much, so often. 

Thank you for the ability to walk, draw, colour, write neatly, bake & type (wouldn’t be doing this otherwise!) so many people in the world have physical struggles that I can’t even imagine, and I’m sure life would be difficult in a whole different way if I were one of them. 

Love xxx

Colouring for Calm

I reckon this blog post is long overdue as my current love for colouring is just getting bigger and bigger… Colouring is what all the cool kids do, and for those who don’t exactly feel cool when buying a colouring book then don’t worry as all savvy-publishers have craftily named their books ‘art therapy’, ‘calming […]

https://dearestsomeone.wordpress.com/2015/08/27/colouring-for-calm/

Overwhelm. 

I feel like so many positive things can happen in a day, but any negativity will still feel very intense and overwhelming. I am constantly battling  a very strong feeling over something and that’s quite tiring. Ruminating is huge issue for me, as almost everything gets replayed over and over in my mind. How do you stop doing that when you’ve done it your whole life? Overthinking is definitely a part of my personality that I want to learn to handle better.

I’ve been doing short mindfulness meditations as therapy homework, and although I sometimes just feel confused by my emotions, or unable to identify them it is helping. Taking a tiny bit of time to just be is sorta… Refreshing. 

Happy weekend everybody 

Xxx