G is for Growing up

Today I learned that the letter G is a hard one to find a post for.. I’ve chosen to talk about growth because my disorders have moulded to stay with me as I’ve gotten older. 

The 8 year old girl who thought she weighed too much became a 14 year old who cut out lunch. The critical voice got stronger and stronger, until the 14 year old became a 17 year old who went from anorexic to bulimic.

Now I’m 21 and accustomed to living with housemates not my family. I am “grown up” (in the legal sense… My enjoyment of stuffed animals suggests otherwise…) 

In many ways, suffering makes you grow up because you have to understand your mind in a way other people do not; however I’ve missed out in other ways. I find it hard to cope healthily, meaning I end up needing other people more than Id like to admit. 

G is also for Gain. These are the things I would gain from being recovered:

-less anxiety when eating socially

-more energy

-better hair and skin 

-more physical strength and health

-ability to enjoy treat foods

-not feeling guilt because others worry about me 

-more confidence