Advice needed!

Hey everyone! I hope the week has started off well for you. 

My therapist is going to be having a baby soon, and I’ve felt a bit out of control of things due to the change. This week I have set myself some goals, but I don’t know if I’m being too obsessive, or whether it’s a sensible decision. 

My goals are to cut 2 particular foods from my diet, to go to the gym on days I’ve pre-selected because they make sense with my schedule, eat at work (as we get food there if we want it) on specific days that go with my schedule, and to make sure I do my ankle exercises everyday. 

If I do all of these everyday this week, then I’m going to try and reward myself with something. Do you guys think that planning my weeks out like this is healthy or too much?

Xoxo 

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5 thoughts on “Advice needed!

  1. hey girl, sorry to hear about the disruption around your therapist. From reading your posts my impression was that she was insightful and supportive and I’m sure you’ll miss her. Have you thought about asking her if you can continue the therapy after her maternity leave is up? Maybe its worth thinking about a plan to access support in her absence and finding out what your options may be in terms of working with her in the future? eating disorders can be so relentless and having support in fighting the day to day struggles with the ed voice, figuring out what is ‘healthy’ for YOU in terms of eating and exercising v what the disorder wants… and coping with the general stresses of life is essential x in terms of the specific questions about the plan that you did make I guess its hard to say because what might be ok for one person isn’t going to be ok for another? I will say that for me, cutting out foods is a red flag that there is something wrong… often something that I think I ‘shouldn’t’ have a problem with, or that I wish didn’t bother me, or just a general sense of being ‘not good enough’… does that resonate with you? sending you hugs and thinking of you xx be kind to yourself whatever you choose xx Em

    • Hey! Yes, I will be continuing with her after she’s had the baby. I will potentially be speaking with her tomorrow, but she’s been feeling unwell today and had to cancel for this afternoon. In the mean time I was offered to speak to somebody else who she knows and who will also do Skype, but I simply can’t afford it. She won’t be gone too long, and I am going to be arranging phone calls with a recovered friend in the meantime.
      I think perhaps the cutting things out is a bit all or nothing- usually because I’m afraid of not being able to have a small enough amount to feel ok.
      The other things though, like what days I will go to the gym etc feel like they are comforting. Things are still in a period of change with the arrival of a new dancer, so something I can stick to feels good (and also an attempt to fixate less on whether others are comparing her and I like I am) xxx hugs back! Xxx

      • hey good on you for arranging to speak to the recovered friend and I’m totally glad to hear you’ll be able to keep in touch with the therapist 🙂 Stability and self-care are great, sounds like the gym routine is there to be nurturing and provide you with some consistency in the midst of change and it sounds like you have a good insight into the all-or-nothing thinking being at the root of the drive to cut things out. x Lucia is purring and swatting at the keyboard here, I think she is sending encouragement to you! and so am I! I hope you can distract yourself away from any horrible thoughts about comparing yourself with this other dancer, the only thing you have to do is be yourself xx Here’s a Martha Graham quote for the evening! “There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique.” xx Em

      • It was my therapists idea, and my friend was more than happy to offer some help! I think the change of anything is something I can find challenging, especially when it was unexpected at this point in my contract.
        I managed to joke around a bit with the new girl and she found me funny, so I feel more accepted and comfortable. The nerves and negative comparisons won’t disappear, but I will just keep going. Hi Lucia! Wish I had my cat to cuddle xxxx

      • It was my therapists idea 🙂 and fortunately my friend was happy to offer a hand.
        Change is always difficult, but at this point in my contract I didn’t expect it, and I think I feel more frustrated by it. The negative thoughts and comparisons won’t go away, but I guess I just have to keep going!
        Hi Lucia! So wish I had my cat to cuddle here xxxx

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