Didn’t I learn my lesson?

Eating healthily became bulimia & now I’m back to planning meals, restriction and weight loss. I know my bulimia was a result of stopping counselling before being ready to go it alone, but you would have thought I would’ve learned that doing anything drastic on my own is a bad idea. 

But no.

Several months later I am back where I began. Being constantly restrictive, having a very rare “binge”, punishing myself and depriving my mind, my body, my social life….

Why is it that as soon as I am stressed the food obsession gets even worse? Even when I feel like food couldn’t dominate me more, it somehow manages it! I’m cross that I can recognise how crappy this method of coping it is but do it anyway.

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One thought on “Didn’t I learn my lesson?

  1. Trust me I understand!! I just went back to restricting after 12+ years of EDNOS/anorexia and then a year or so of true recovery. Shouldn’t be back here!!! I know so many better coping mechanisms! But I am. And that’s just what it is right now. We can just be here for each other… and understand. xo

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