Today I had one of those days where I felt totally overwhelmed by the feeling of being enormous. Usually, I can pinpoint what I hate the most about my body (although it is all always horrible), but today I just literally felt gross flab all over me. I wanted to cry and/or rip it off. This made me more depressed than normal and it irritates the hell out of me that it makes such a dent in my day.
Whatever I do is not enough. There is never an end in which my ed is satisfied with what I have done. Pretty tiring…
anadancer 
Then perhaps it’s worth considering whether you are ready to devote the energy you use to maintain your ED to recovery, and free yourself from this exhausting state of exostence. 🙂
you are right- it is exhausting! it is definitely a strong factor for wanting to recover x