Worried about relaxing

So these past few weeks have been challenging in terms of my disorder. I have had to put myself in anxiety provoking situations and sit with the horrible emotions and thoughts that go with that. Some of my attempts have been successful, and I am glad I was able to do something very scary. But I also feel guilty for allowing myself to be positive. I feel like I’m at a point in therapy where I will only achieve progress half the time, because the guilt and fear of permitting myself to feel relaxed and accepting of myself when behaving “normally” is so strong.
When I first realised I had a problem, I thought it was only with food- how wrong was I? The more therapy I have, the more I realise that everything is about emotional discomfort and my inability to let negative feelings just come and go naturally. Mental illness runs so much deeper than the stereotypes that many people attach to each illness. The symptoms of each metal problems are just a cover up for the crap that goes on inside….

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